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Mastering Headlines: Watch Me Critique 7 Ads LIVE!

Copywriting

What does it take to write an ad, headline, or subject line that’s impossible to ignore?

Come along with me as I take you through one of my favorite copywriting exercises ever…

I’m going to let you look over my shoulder as I critique this copy from Asana….

And 6 other variations of it – submitted by the Posse community. 

What made them great, what left me wanting more, and what would make them even more powerful?

Hey, Posse! What’s up? It’s Alex. 

If you’re following me on Instagram, LinkedIn, or on YouTube…

Then you’ve probably seen my regular ā€œMake It Hotterā€ posts…

Where I find an ad, headline, or subject line – and put it out to the community to… you guessed it – ā€œMake It Hotterā€!

Not only is this one of my FAVORITE ways to practice, but it’s also a great way to see how other copywriters think.

Which ultimately helps you better understand WHY certain things work and WHY certain things don’t… 

And, the BEST part of this exercise for me is when I get to put on my Posse Prof spectacles and critique the top-voted submissions.

So in today’s blog, I’m going to take you through one of my latest editions of ā€œMake It Hotterā€ and break down my critiques of each Ad. Point by point. 

So let’s get started.

First, let’s take a look at this post – where I asked the Posse community to make this ad even hotter.

This was an ad for Asana –  a tool that helps individuals, teams and organizations track their projects, to-do lists and workspaces.⁠

Now here’s their original ad copy…  ⁠

"Just because you’ve written down your to-do list doesn’t mean it’s useful. 15 secrets for making a to-do list that actually works. Learn more."

Not bad, but I gotta admit I liked these Posse-fied versions WAY better. 

But before I get to my critique of the submissions, first let’s critique Asana’s original copy… 

What worked? What was lacking? And what could be better?

Now, the first thing I notice is how short this copy is. 

The entire body of this ad is JUST the hook.  

Short copy can work extremely well – especially when the ad is being directed towards a more aware audience. 

For a totally unaware audience, short copy like this isn’t going to work very well. 

An unaware audience needs more education and trust building as they get to know who you are and what you’re all about.

So let’s just assume that this ad was written for a warm-to-hot audience who already knows what Asana is and what it generally helps with. 

But even though this audience is HOT… 

This copy is still veryyyyy short. 

Which again, isn’t bad. But it does make your job as a copywriter HARDER. 

Because you have to pack a super powerful punch in a very limited number of words. 

Which means every single word NEEDS TO COUNT.

So let’s take a look at the hook: ā€œJust because you’ve written down your to-do list doesn’t mean it’s useful.ā€

This is what I call the ā€œConfirming Beliefsā€ hook. 

What they’re doing is giving the audience a sense of validation about something they are likely struggling with…

Which in this case – is writing down a to-do list that isn’t actually helping them accomplish anything… right?

So when the person who struggles with this thing reads this copy, they’re going to feel validated. They’ll think ā€œAha! I knew it! I knew to-do lists were dumb and a waste of time.ā€ 

 So I actually think this is a great hook. But I DON’T love that they ended it there. 

I would have added just one more sentence that piques the interest of the reader and opens a loop to make them read more. 

Something like: ā€œHere’s what to do insteadā€¦ā€ or ā€œClick below if you’re ready to change thatā€¦ā€

Just a couple more words could make this ad more compelling and potentially get more scrollers to come down here to read the ad Headline and CTA. 

ā€œ15 secrets for making a to-do list that actually worksā€.

With the CTA of ā€œLearn Moreā€.

I think this is pretty good. It clearly conveys what the reader will learn if they click the link.

However, I think they could have made this even stronger by incorporating some power words or communicating the END GOAL this audience is likely looking for. 

For example, ā€œ15 secrets to help you dominate your to-do list.ā€ 

Dominate is a great power word and this communicates a stronger benefit than just ā€œa to-do list that actually worksā€ or maybe ā€œ15 secrets to boost your productivity.ā€

Again, this is communicating the MAIN GOAL this audience is likely looking for – which is a solution to help them be more productive. 

Overall, this Ad is good. But let’s see what the Posse thinks…

First, here’s a quick recap of my 3-step formula for writing a H.O.T. Headline!

And don’t worry about taking notes on this formula, because I have a free guide waiting for you at the end of this blog that will break each one of these steps down for you. 

Now, a hot headline should:

  1. Hook Attention – Start with a concept or idea that grabs the reader’s attention by either provoking an emotion (fear, joy, controversy, FOMO, nostalgia, etc.) OR promising a desired result or clear USP (unique selling proposition). 
  2. Open A Loop – Pique curiosity & incentivize your audience to read further.
  3. Target Your Audience – Make it crystal clear exactly who you are speaking to.

Alright, so now let’s take a look at the Posse’s submissions – along with my critique of them. These 6 ads were selected at random from the YouTube community!

We had a lot more participants – so big thank you to EVERYONE who participated in this exercise. 

Keep participating and you never know when YOUR submission might be selected for critique. 

Alright, now let’s take a look….


Posse Submission #1

ā€œWhy your to-do lists suck (and how to un-suck them)ā€

I LOVE this hook and think it’s such a great way to capture attention and then immediately open a loop. 

ā€œLet’s be real. Scribbling down tasks doesn’t mean you’ll actually do them. Your brain’s already zooming out before you even unclick the pen. But what if your to-do list worked for you instead of against you?ā€

Alright, so I like this too. They are relating to the audience’s pain here. “Your brain is already zooming out before you even unclick the pen.” Love that descriptive language. I wonder if there might be a better word instead of ā€œzooming outā€… Maybe ā€œoverwhelmedā€ or ā€œchecked outā€ or something that feels easier to understand. 

ā€œThese 15 Asana secrets will turn your list into a weapon that fuels action – not empty checkboxesā€

Again I am loving this descriptive copy… ā€œfuels actionsā€ and ā€œnot empty checkboxesā€. Those are great benefits. 

I was a little thrown off by ā€œturn your list into a weaponā€ though – that language feels a little out of place to me.  And then finally they end with ā€œUn-suck your list now. Get shit done for real. Click here.ā€

Brilliant. I love that they tied the open loop from the beginning of the copy into the end with ā€œun-suck your list now.ā€

I’m not sure ā€œget shit done for real.ā€ is necessary though. And the CTA of ā€œClick hereā€ is just okay. 

I think ā€œLearn moreā€ would probably be more powerful. 

Alright, next up…

Posse Submission #2

ā€œDoom scrolling your to-do list?ā€

Ummmm. Yup. That’s a super relatable hook. Pretty sure EVERY human that has ever had a to-do list has done this. 

ā€œOptimate your task management with these 15 hacks so you can turn ā€˜to-do’ into ā€˜all-done’.ā€

This is good. A little wordy. We might be able to replace that ā€œso you canā€ with just the word ā€œandā€.  I’m also a little unclear if this was meant to be part of the body copy of the ad or that headline at the bottom.

But I think this would work well as part of the body, immediately after the hook. ā€œOptimize your task managementā€¦ā€ is a GREAT open loop. So I would definitely put that up at the top so people can read it without having to click ā€œread moreā€. 

I also love the before-after bridge this person is using: ā€œturn to-do into all doneā€. That’s great.  So the only thing that’s missing here is a Headline to put at the bottom of the ad.

And again, I think ā€œLearn Moreā€ is the perfect CTA for this ad. 

Alright, next up… 

Posse Submission #3

ā€œTired of your to-do list feeling endless and unproductive? Let’s change that.ā€

Love this hook. Again, this is very relatable. ā€œfeeling endlessā€ is exactly how I feel about my to-do list most days. 

And I love how they opened a loop ā€œlet’s change thatā€ – that communicates to the audience to keep reading, there’s something here that can help you. 

ā€œDiscover 15 proven strategies to create a to-do list that actually gets things done – stress-free. Get started now!ā€

Okay, so I’m assuming they intended this part to be the Headline at the bottom of the ad. This copy is way too long and wordy to be used as the Headline. 

When we’re talking about meta Ads, remember that you have strict character limits to work within.

The primary text, as Meta calls it, is your hook. It’s that first line of copy that your audience can read WITHOUT clicking the ā€œread moreā€ button. You have 125 characters for that. 

The Headline you only have 40 characters. 

What this person has written is 97 characters. So definitely too long. We need to shorten this Headline quite a bit. 

I love that they added ā€œstress-freeā€ so maybe we could make this Headline into ā€œ15 strategies for a stress-free to-do listā€

And we’ll keep the CTA ā€œGet startedā€. 

Alright, next up… 

Posse Submission #4

ā€œEver wonder why to-do lists never work?ā€

Asking a question is one of the best ways to open a loop, so love that they’re utilizing that concept here.

However, just like the original ad, I would LOVE to get just a little bit more context here. This alone doesn’t really make me want to keep reading. 

So this hook is leaving me wanting more… 

ā€œTry these 15 secret tricks that’ll make your to-do lists work like a productivity powerhouse.ā€

Again, I’m assuming this is meant to be the Headline at the bottom. And again, this is way too long. ā€œProductivity powerhouseā€ is great. 

So maybe we can change this headline into ā€œ15 secrets of a productivity powerhouse.ā€ And they’re missing the CTA button here as well. 

Alright, next up. Two more left… 

Posse Submission #5

 ā€œWriting tasks down doesn’t mean they’ll get done.ā€

Okay, that’s not bad. They’re re-using the original ad hook and shortening it up a bit…

ā€œDon’t let your list become a stack of missed deadlines.ā€

I LOVE this. That is powerful. No one wants a stack of missed deadlines. 

I would use THIS as the opening line of copy and totally eliminate the first line altogether. 

Then all they need is to add a short transition line of copy to open a loop and get the audience to keep reading…

They end with ā€œGet 15 insider tips to make your to-do list unstoppable.ā€ Okay, again we need to shorten this up a tiny bit. 

I love the word ā€œunstoppableā€ so let’s make this Headline ā€œMake your to-do list unstoppableā€. 

Then we change this CTA to ā€œLearn Howā€ – that way it’s like a continuation of the headline and it flows nicely. 

Alright, and the last posse submission…

Posse Submission #6 

ā€œAre you always writing down your to-do list but never getting through it?ā€

This is great. It’s very simple and also very clearly communicates the BIG problem this audience is facing… 

ā€œHere are 15 powerful secrets to creating a list that actually works. Let me show you how.ā€

Again, I love this… 

I think this person may have written this to be the Headline and CTA but I think this would work so much better as part of the ad body. 

That would make this ad a bit longer than the original. But I think this adds more context, communicates a promise, and opens a loop with the ā€œlet me show you howā€. 

The only thing I would caution about ā€œlet me show you howā€ is that we need to remember this copy for Asana – this is a brand, not a person. 

So we would want to switch that ā€œmeā€ to an ā€œusā€. A minor difference, but it really matters. 

Now all this person needs to add is a Headline 40 characters or less and a CTA like ā€œLearn Moreā€. And this ad would be ready to go! 


Alright! And that’s it! 

Everyone did such a great job on this exercise.

Now, if you want to play along in the next edition of ā€œMake It Hotterā€, be sure to follow me on social media – I post these exercises regularly on Instagram, LinkedIn, and on YouTube Community! 

And don’t forget to grab a copy of my FREE H.O.T. Headline Guide – so you can learn exactly how to write headlines that grab attention and stop scrollers in their tracks – you can grab that now.

Thanks for reading. Until next time, I’m Alex – ciao for now!

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Industry-leading copywriter, award-winning marketer and founder of the Copy Posse. Alex was crowned 2022 Marketer of the Year by DigitalMarketer, was voted #1 most popular copywriter in 2023, and received the Game Changer Award at the Women of Inspiration Awards in 2024.