In this video, Iām going to critique copy from this Facebook Ad ā which is selling a $35 sleep maskā¦
Along with 5 other variations of it ā submitted by real writers from the Posse community.
And⦠just for fun⦠I asked ChatGPT to re-write this copyā¦
And Iāve got some things to say about that too.
Come along with me as I break down what makes this copy great, what left me wanting more, and what would make it even more powerful.
Hey, Posse! Whatās up? Itās Alex.
If youāre following me on Instagram, @copyposse, then youāve probably seen my regular āMake It Hotterā postsā¦
Where I find an ad, headline, or subject line ā and put it out to the community to⦠you guessed it ā āMake It Hotterā!
Not only is this one of my FAVORITE ways to practice, but itās also a great way to see how other copywriters thinkā¦
Which ultimately helps you better understand WHY certain things work and WHY certain things donāt…Ā
And, the BEST part of this exercise for me is when I get to put on my Posse Prof spectacles and critique the top-voted submissions.
So in todayās blog, Iām going to take you through one of my latest editions of āMake It Hotterā and break down my critiques of each Ad – point by point.Ā
So letās get started.
First, let’s take a look at this post ā where I asked the Posse community to make this ad even hotter.
This was an ad for a $35 Manta Sleep mask ā a sleep mask that guarantees 100% darkness.ā
Now hereās their original ad copy⦠ā
Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Weāve got you covered!ā
The sleep masks that have helped over 500,000 people improve the quality of their sleep.ā
???? Experience true 100% blackoutā
???? Zero eye pressureā
???? Side-sleep comfortā
???? Fall Asleep Fasterā
???? Wake up feeling well-restedā
Unlock Unmatched Sleep Quality ????ā
Shop nowā .
Alright, alrightā¦
So letās critique this copy.
What worked? What was lacking? And what could be better?
Overall, this Ad is good.
But letās see what the Posse thinksā¦
First, hereās a quick recap of my 3-step formula for writing a H.O.T. ad or headline…
And donāt worry about taking notes on this formula, because I have a free guide that will break each one of these steps down for you.
How to Write a Headline
Now, a hot ad or headline shouldā¦
- Hook Attention – start with a concept or idea that grabs the readerās attention by provoking an emotion (fear, joy, controversy, FOMO, nostalgia, etc.) OR promising a desired result or clear USP (unique selling proposition).
- Open A Loop – pique curiosity & incentivize your audience to read further.
- Target Your Audience – Make it crystal clear exactly who you are speaking to and how you can help them.
Alright, so now let’s take a look at the Posseās submissions ā along with my critique of them.
These 5 ads were selected for critique because they received the most amount of ālikesā or āvotesā from the community.
Letās take a lookā¦.
1-Gift yourself blissful sleep this holiday! You’re gonna fall in love with this must-have sleep mask that’s helped over 500,000 people achieve their best sleep ever!

2-Looking for a gift to give a friend who had a ton of sleepless nights this year? Give them the rest they truly deserve this holiday with a blackout sleep mask! Experience 100% blackout without curtains. Zero eye pressure for a comfortable night’s sleep. Helps you asleep faster. Wake up feeling well-rested. Give the gift of a good sleep.

3-Over 500,000 people have improved the quality of their sleep using the sleep mask, in this holiday season of love what more can be perfect than a sleep mask that provides 100% true blackout, zero eye pressure, side-sleeping comfort, falling asleep faster, and waking up feeling well-rested. Express your love in actions. Shop now!

4-Looking for a total blackout without the hangover? Introducing Manta Sleep. Designed for deep sleep: So you wake up feeling fully refreshed and energized every morning. Zero eye pressure: Start your day with a radiant look. Specialized cooling fabric: So you stay cool and comfortable. Go for blackout.

5-When was the last time you woke up feeling well rested? Or are you the type that always have trouble falling asleep? Discover Mantasleep sleep mask, a true 100% blackout experience with zero eye pressure. So comfy you fall asleep fast and most importantly you wake up feeling well-rested. Unlock a sleeping quality that rivals a bear hibernating deep inside a dark cave. Shop now.

Everyone did such a great job on this exercise.
Now letās take a look at what ChatGPT had to say about this mask hahaā¦
Okay, so I copied this Ad into ChatGPTā¦
Gave it a bit of additional context on what the ad is about and some benefits I grabbed off the websiteā¦
Then I asked it to rewrite the ad ā including a strong hook, open loop, and calling out the audience.
Hereās what it gave me:

Alright ā so overall not too bad.
I actually really like the power words theyāve used āserene slumberā, āinnovative sleep maskā…
And I think the first sentence is a great hook.
Maybe trying a little TOO hard to be descriptive and using too many unnecessary words⦠so I would recommend tightening up those bullet points.
And Iām not a big fan of the ending CTA āawaken your best selfā ā because itās not clear that this is about sleep. So Iād swap that with something else.
But overall, not too bad of an ad. One of the better ones Iāve seen from ChatGPT!
But remember, while ChatGPT is a great tool to generate copy quickly, you need to be a COPYWRITER to really understand what makes this ad work and what should be updated.
So use it as a tool to streamline your work, but never forget to think like a marketer, ok Posse?
If you want to play along in the next edition of āMake It Hotterā – be sure to follow me on Instagram at @CopyPosse.
If you liked this blog and want to see more in-depth critiques like it in the future – make sure to subscribe to my newsletter to learn when my next tutorial goes LIVE.
And donāt forget to grab a copy of my FREE H.O.T. Headline Guide – so you can learn exactly how to write headlines that grab attention and stop scrollers in their tracks – you can grab that now.
Iāll see you next week with a brand-new tutorial. Until then, Iām Alex. Ciao for now!