What does it take to write an ad, headline, or subject line that’s impossible to ignore?
Come along with me as I take you through one of my favorite copywriting exercises ever…
I’m going to let you look over my shoulder as I critique this Galentine’s copy from Anthropologie…
And 6 other variations of it – submitted by the Posse community.
What made them great, what left me wanting more, and what would make them even more powerful?
Hey, Posse! What’s up? It’s Alex.
If you’re following me on Instagram, LinkedIn, or even here on YouTube…
Then you’ve probably seen my regular “Make It Hotter” posts…
Where I find an ad, headline, or subject line – and put it out to the community to… you guessed it – “Make It Hotter”!
Not only is this one of my FAVORITE ways to practice, but it’s also a great way to see how other copywriters think…
Which ultimately helps you better understand WHY certain things work and WHY certain things don’t…
And, the BEST part of this exercise for me is when I get to put on my Posse Prof spectacles and critique the top-voted submissions.
So in today’s video, I’m going to take you through one of my recent editions of “Make It Hotter” and break down my critiques of each ad – point by point.
Is your copy featured? Keep reading to find out…
First, let’s take a look at this post – where I asked the Posse community to make this ad even hotter.
This was an ad for Anthropologie – a lifestyle brand that sells everything from home decor to clothes and more!
Now here’s their original ad copy…
So what works? What’s missing? And what could be better?
Right off the bat, they’re starting this ad with a question: “These looks?”
Asking a rhetorical question can be a great way to HOOK a reader’s attention…
Now I personally think this tactic can be way overused in marketing. There is nothing wrong with asking questions in your copy from time to time, just make sure you aren’t always using this because it can feel very cliche.
In this case, I think this question is awesome because it creates an open loop – using the words “these looks” creates the desire to want to know – what looks?!?
Versus simply asking, what are you wearing this Valentine’s Day?
Then they follow it up with “V cute” which is genius for two reasons…
First, it further extends the open loop with a benefit, making you want to see these looks even more…
And the second reason I love this is because – well, who doesn’t love a good pun?
Valentine’s Day… V-day… V cute… It’s so subtle. But this hook was very well done.
The next part of the copy says, ”Get ahead of Galentine’s Day with everything you & your besties will love at the link in bio”
So this is the body copy for the ad – which you can see is verrryyy short.
Short ads like this work well with a warm audience that already has a high level of awareness of the brand.
They are using the FOMO hook here — Get ahead of Galentine’s Day, in other words, don’t miss out!!
They further this hook by implying all your besties will love these looks too!!! Simple but genius.
They end with a Call to Action that directs them to the “link in bio” — hmm, did you catch that?? Why would they send them to the link in bio when there is a big SHOP NOW button right THERE?
This tells me this is likely a boosted organic Instagram post — because no one says “link in bio” in a Facebook ad. It’s kind of confusing to me… where is the link in bio on a Facebook ad??? Where do you click?
When I really think on this, I suppose it is possible that this language could very subtly contribute to a more organic feel, which technically could build more trust because it feels LESS like an ad.
So, was this an oversight or intentional? V interesting…
But I’m not done analyzing this just ad yet. It also uses ONE MORE hook. Did you catch it? Yup, relevancy — Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. So this short ad packs a serious punch with 2 powerful hooks and an open loop.
Not bad, Anthropologie. Let’s see if the Posse can “Make It Hotter”.
First – here’s a quick recap of my 3-step formula for writing a H.O.T. Headline…
A hot headline should do 3 things…
- Hook Attention – start with a concept or idea that grabs the reader’s attention by either provoking an emotion (fear, joy, controversy, FOMO, nostalgia, etc.) OR promising a desired result or clear USP (unique selling proposition).
- Open A Loop – pique curiosity & incentivize your audience to read further.
- Target Your Audience – making it crystal clear exactly who you are speaking to by calling out a clear problem or desired benefit.
And BTW I have a totally FREE guide that breaks down my HOT Headline Formula for you so you can start practicing headline writing right NOW, after you finish this blog of course.
Alright, so now let’s take a look at the Posse’s submissions. These 6 ads were selected at random right here from the YouTube community and over on Instagram!!!
Big thank you to EVERYONE who participated in this exercise.
Keep at it — you never know when YOUR copy might be selected for critique.
Alright, now let’s take a look!
Alright first up…
Posse Submission #1
I love the first sentence of this ad – Only the hottest looks for you and your besties.
This is definitely playing up the “status and ego” hook. I mean, who doesn’t want to look hot – especially on Valentine’s Day – am I right?!
And then they end with “link in bio – it’s everything you need.”
Now I understand what this person is trying to do, adding that “it’s everything you need” at the end….
But I would caution you against adding copy after that call to action that doesn’t really add much to the ad. What does it mean? What is “everything” when it comes to clothing?
You should ALWAYS end your sales messaging by telling your audience exactly what you want them to do.
So, in this case, I would eliminate the “it’s everything you need” and end it with a “Shop Now” (because, as we talked about earlier, the link in the bio is a bit confusing…. Where is the link in bio?”)
Alright, let’s take a look at the next Posse submission…
Posse Submission #2
Alright, so again, starting off with a question is always a great way to start an ad…
I really like the “ready impress?” – again, this is playing the sense of status and ego. We all secretly want to impress others.
Now I know the original ad focused on Galentine’s Day and buying for your bestie… but in this case, I would actually eliminate the bestie part and make it more focused on Valentine’s Day.
Not many of us are trying to impress our friends on Valentine’s Day or maybe we are but not typically.
We’re trying to impress our crush, date or significant other who are missing out on how great we look – right?!
So I’d cut the ad down to say: “Ready to impress this Valentine’s Day? These NEW looks are exactly what you need to feel….”
And then add in some descriptive words to really get down to what the reader wants to feel. Confident? Fun and flirty?
Then don’t forget to add in a call to action like “Shop now” and this ad is good to go!
And one last thing – make sure to double-check your grammar and punctuation.
Alright, our next Posse submission…
Posse Submission #3
Okay so I really like how they’re starting this ad… “it’s finally here” is using the “novelty” hook to create a sense of excitement. Like you’ve been waiting for this and now it’s here! Yay!
This is a great hook and it works really well – but I would caution you against using this hook unless it truly IS a new release or launch.
From reading the original ad copy, I don’t think that is the case for this ad.
When re-writing ads, it’s TOTALLY okay to be creative and take a different direction, like in the previous example – we switched the direction from Galentine’s Day and besties to Valentine’s Day and looking hot for your Valentine…
It’s okay to do that and I ENCOURAGE you to play around with different directions!
Just remember to try and stay in integrity with what you know to be TRUE about the offer.
So as much as I LOVE this hook… for this particular ad, I would go with something different… Now – the rest of the ad is okay…
But I would add in something about Galentine’s Day to help the reader connect the dots and make this copy feel more relevant.
Something like “Matching sets with the BFF for a girl’s night out? 👯♀️ Shop our Galentine’s Day collection at the link in bio.”
Great job so far Posse, are you guys loving this?
Comment below and let me know if you want more blogs like this!
Posse Submission #4
Okay so overall I really like this ad! I love how they right away call out that this is perfect for Galentines OR Valentine’s day. A “choose your own adventure” type of thing.
Adding the emojis for each vibe is super fun, too.
This is a great example of how using emojis can help communicate a certain EMOTION or FEELING. So I really love how they started this ad…
I like “plan your love day…” and how they’re trying to make it feel generic – like it can go either way, but this ad loses me when it says “with special gifts that sparks your relation.”
That feels a bit clunky to me and doesn’t flow very well, I’m also not really sure what it means.
I’d maybe re-write this sentence to say something like “Whichever you choose, find the fun or flirty style that’s right for you!”
Then they say “link in bio” – which again I’d probably change to “Shop now”.
And they end with a P.S. saying the sale lasts for 48 hours only.
I see that they are trying to do – add some scarcity and incentive into the copy to get people to take quick action… which is smart!
But the original ad says nothing about a limited-time sale, so of course, if this was a REAL ad you were writing for THIS client, you’d definitely NOT want to make that up…
Part of improving your skills is working with WHAT YOU HAVE and figuring out how to sell it.
We need to put on our copywriter’s caps and figure out how we can WORK with that and write compelling and persuasive copy without using any scarcity – because there is none in this case.
I agree with this person that it would make the copy more effective if there was in fact a deadline, so I like where your head is at…
Alright, next up…
Posse Submission #5
Omg the first line of this ad is giving me major Shania Twain vibes – let’s go girls. Da-na-na-na-na! Haha.
So I love that and am super tempted to work some Shania reference into this ad simply because I love her and love that song. But that’s just me!
Okay, so love the hook here. Then they go on to say “Have you seen these looks? Tres cute!”
Alright, so this is good… and it almost could be a totally separate hook and ad. So I would pick one or the other.
Either go with “Grab your girls, Galentine’s Day is almost here.” OR go with “Have you seen these looks? Tres cute!”
Either one will work, but we definitely don’t need both of these hooks back to back.
Next, they say “Bet your besties will love them. Shop now, link in bio”.
I love this, maybe add in a “We bet” and then update the CTA to something like “Shop our V-Day must-haves now”
It’s less wordy but still communicates the same message.
Alright now let’s look at our last but not least Posse submission!
Posse Submission #6
Haha okay, cute. I see what they did there with the rhyme.
As much as I think the rhyme is cute, I would actually love this ad so much more without it. I would just keep it short and simple and add in a little call to action and then end it there.
Also, the first line is good but let’s drop the word “tribe” – it’s not a vibe. See what I did there lol. So something like…
“Grab your Galentines and treat yourself to one of these cute looks. Shop now.”
See? Really no need for that extra fluff.
One of the hardest parts about copywriting is SIMPLIFYING and cutting out anything that’s not absolutely necessary.
Alright! And that’s it!
Everyone did such a great job on this exercise.
Now, if you want to play along in the next edition of “Make It Hotter” – be sure to follow me on social media – I post these exercises regularly on Instagram, LinkedIn, and right here on YouTube Community!
If you liked this and want to see more in-depth critiques like it in the future – give me a thumbs up below and make sure to subscribe to my newsletter to be notified when my next tutorial goes out.
Grab your copy of my FREE H.O.T. Headline Guide here and I’ll see you next week with a brand new tutorial.
Until next time, I’m Alex. Ciao for now!
